Your companion must:

• Exude tranquillité-no undignified barking, lunging, or heaven forbid, drooling on the Persian rugs.
• Mingle with peers as one might at a Viennese ball-polite sniffs, graceful play bows, and absolutely no unsolicited pawing.
• Charm the staff-a wag of the tail here, a well-timed head tilt there. We are not immune to charisma.

If they achieve this trifecta-remaining unflappable in the lounge, gregarious in the play zones, and utterly beguiling during siesta-they may earn the coveted Dogs’ Paradise seal of approval. May.

Fail to meet these standards, and… well. Let’s not dwell on such vulgarities.